Grab A Hold on Your Higher Self

I want to let you in on one of my spiritual secrets. I am fooling it really is not a secret at all.  The only way one can fail at something is when we refuse to try what life presents us.  I know none of us are ever to old to learn something new about ourselves.  I was not getting where I wanted to go and it was making me very cranky indeed.  So I took some time away from writing, creating my website and just contemplated and visualized what it would be like to have this thing I wanted so that was eluding me.  What was holding me back.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not willing to ask for help.  Pride, lack of humility, fear of people saying no, or worse yet rejecting me.  I just could not stretch my boundaries to ask for help.  So I sat and meditated for a while and ask my Higher Power and myself what would happen if someone did say no.  The other thing I discovered is that I did not want to do what I had set out to do a year or more ago.  Oh I wanted to sell a little jewelry and clothing but I was just not that motivated to do that particular thing anymore.  So here I was with a dilemma two or more actually.   So what did I want to do?  I wanted to write. This rather poor writer loves to write and so that is what I am going to do.  So I started asking around to some of my old time friends on the internet.  One was my good friend of many years who is a photographer and artist.  I am not much of a photographer but it another thing I love to do and I have been taking some classes.  He introduced me to a lady who like me is retired.  Well, actually I do not think I am officially retired as I have run at least two to three business ever since I was suppose to be retired.  She is a photographer.  She and I are going to get together and she is going to show me how to photograph jewelry. I find Jewelry really hard to photograph as it reflects.  So I have not met this lady yet because first I had the flu and then she did. But I am so excited to be going to meet someone who can help me with my photography.  Then my photographer friend who I have known for years told me he will help me with my websites.  So all I had to do was ask. God always says yes.  But I had to stretch my limits and ask.  Then a man I met on Linkedin offered to make this marvelous trade with me he will help me with my web design and help me get all of my sites together that is a feat in itself as I have around twenty domains.  In Exchange for advertising on my blog. He told me he will not only do the sites but he will teach me how to do them.  I am taking two classes in site design right now.  I never realized how afraid I was of people. I love people but I am more than a bit of an introvert. I prefer to hide behind my computer and not take any risks.  But that is over now. I have taken the first of a series of steps and I know that I will continue. I have given myself permission to do what ever makes me happy so I am doing it now.  

So I don't expect that I will change over night.  I imagine I will stick my feet in the water and find out I am still scared of people.   I will take some photos that are not so good.   I will write some articles that people will criticize but that is not what is important it is the doing that counts.  And as I do all of this I will get better at it.  If I don't who cares it makes me happy. Whatever brings you joy that I believe is what God, (my higher power wants of me.) To be joyful and to be kind and loving to others.    It is so much easier to be joyful when you are doing what you love to do. 

It is interesting I know that I had so much clutter in my life and in this apartment that I could not find anything.  There was no room for anything new in my life. So I started giving things away.   I have been hauling car loads of things to Goodwill.  I  have given all my neighbors anything they want and the more I gave away the lighter I felt and the happier.  I am making room for the new.   I went through a really dark time for a few days where I was so cranky I wanted to hang on to the old but I just couldn't it no longer served me well.   But I did not like to let it go. It was like that old bathrobe it was familiar.   It was a  rag and holy but it was familiar and I wanted to hang on to it.  But I had a new one and I could throw the old one out. It was nothing more than a cleaning rag anyway.  So finally I let it go. If we fail to learn the lessons that life gives us.   Then and only then will we hit those hurdles and pain again and again. We have to let go and try something new. 

We cannot expect diffeernt results from the same old resentments and blaming others.   It is us who create our lives with the decisions we make.  It is us who rail against changing. But in the end all we have to do is let go and let God.